Attachment and Affection. Deep and Intensely felt. Just to summarize what “Love’s” definition is in the dictionary. 

You read it and you process it and you know. It’s just that, Thee Intangible is the strongest ‘thing’ in life itself. What you cannot touch or hear or taste or see. But what you feel within your core. Don’t get me wrong, you can hear and touch and taste the things you love, but the feeling is something unreplicable. Something untouchable and yet the strongest form of feel.

Within you is this fire for this other being. You see them and your body gets heavy. Your blood flow gets faster and you begin to salivate from this excitement. All of a sudden your hands touch one another, your lips part and your mouths combine. And it’s electric. And it runs through you; To your toes and up and over and through the top of your head, your heart beats stronger. 

Have you felt that kind of love? The stuff that lights you up and takes you away? Do you feel me?

The mind wanders and maybe you catch yourself thinking of old friendships that have slowly burnt out.. You sit and wonder what had I done wrong. What had they done wrong and why you’re even thinking about it. And all of a sudden, you’re willing to overlook the flakiness and disappointment because the good times were so good. And you thought, “I will be friends with this person, for life. I’ve shared my core with them; Why wouldn’t I continue?” And then it happened.. 60-40…70-30… 80-20… Do you keep putting in effort or do you let go? 

So to keep your dignity, you say “fuck em” and shove your feelings and memories aside. Force yourself not to give a shit, turn a blind eye and go on. Which brings me to right now. When you’re inebriated and wondering about those old friends that let you down. You feel like forgiving. You feel like reaching out. You feel like it never happened. 

What do I do now? When I see “Forgiveness” as freedom. (And not for the other person’s sake- for my own)  You know there was wrong doing. You can try for a clean slate but it is still scratched. What do you do with a person that you considered a true confidant? Try again or let the wandering float to the surface on occasion? 

All my life, I’ve had friends come and go. But there are those select few that made the difference in daily life and playback in the memory museum. I have the tendency to forgive and move on. But I’ve grown tired of becoming this doormat for people that I put it all in for, only to get so minimal in return..

Cheers, to tequila silver.

Atlantic City // New Jersey // Brooklyn // Boston. It’s like the feeling of Christmas has come over me! Any recommendations on fooderies and neat/sweet spots? Tell me, tell me!